Strap-Ons
At some point, almost every woman and man has had a fantasy about getting fucked by a dildo. Some people fantasize having a dick to play with and thrust into their partner, others fantasize feeling it inside them. Some just want the feeling of a cock between their thighs.
In this guide we’ll cover why people love strap-ons, some history about their origin, what kinds to buy and how to fit a harness, and the best tips to have an amazing strap-on experience!
Strap-Ons
At some point, almost every woman and man has had a fantasy about getting fucked by a dildo. Some people fantasize having a dick to play with and thrust into their partner, others fantasize feeling it inside them. Some just want the feeling of a cock between their thighs.
In this guide we’ll cover why people love strap-ons, some history about their origin, what kinds to buy and how to fit a harness, and the best tips to have an amazing strap-on experience!
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Strap-ons are dildos that are held onto the hips by a strap or harness. Strap-ons allow the user's hands to be free and for them to use the dildo like men would a penis; by thrusting from their hips into an anus, vagina, or mouth.
Strap-ons date back to the Stone Age and the oldest known strap-on dildo is from the upper Paleolithic Period in 10,000 BCE. The concept of having a synthetic cock to play with isn’t at all new and shows up in archaeological artifacts all over the world. References to women wearing dildos strapped to their hips are found in texts, plays and stories from hundreds of years ago.
Clearly, if history is any indication, humans have loved the idea of wearing a hand-made cock that they can use on their lovers whether it’s a woman thrusting into another woman or giving anal to a man (what we now call pegging).
Modern day strap-ons have really evolved and moved away from crude materials such as stone, metal or wood. Today, strap-ons are mostly made of premium grade silicone and include technological advances such as thrusting, vibrating or rotating functions to bring sex to a whole new level.
They’ve even evolved beyond straps! Some of the more popular strap-ons used in lesbian sex are strapless where the dildo has a curved end that inserts into the vagina and is held in place that way.
For the better part of a century, people have assumed strap-ons were only for lesbian couples wanting to explore penetrative sex. However, in the last couple of decades the amount of heterosexual couples that have wanted to explore pegging has grown exponentially to the point where the ratio is 50/50 female couples and male-female couples. Now, more and more men are realizing the incredible orgasms that can come from having their prostate stimulated during anal sex, and more and more women are enjoying how much fun it can be to fuck someone with their very own cock.
Some of the most popular reasons people get strap-ons…
- Female Fantasy: Some people enjoy the fantasy or taboo of a female having a penis, especially a large one.
- “Lesbian Sex” where one female bodied partner gets to wear a dildo to penetrate their female bodied partner.
- Male Anal Sex aka “Pegging”: A woman wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates her male partner, stimulating his prostate in the process and inducing mind-blowing orgasms.
- Double Penetration: A male bodied wearer can strap a dildo beneath their penis in order to penetrate the anus as well as the vagina. Alternatively, a female bodied wearer can strap two dildos onto them to achieve the same result of double penetration of vagina and anus.
- Extending or enhancing sex when one partner has ED (erectile dysfunction) or gets flaccid: A male bodied wearer can wear a strap-on sheath over their cock to continue fucking their partner until they either get erect again or their partner achieves orgasm.
- Variety: Because strap-ons can come in any shape, size or texture and may come with the added benefit of vibration, some users want to spice up their sex life and try new sensations.
Ride the Rainbow Universal Strap-On Harness Allow for the wearer to insert their own penis inside so they can play into the fantasy of their partner’s desire of different girth, width or texture. It also is useful for those with ED (erectile dysfunction) or if the wearer wants to keep pleasuring their partner but have already ejaculated. This brightly colored, nylon harness is a perfect addition to your Pride collection or other rainbow items!
DP Strap-Ons Can be worn by both men and women. These strap-ons offer a chance for the wearer to penetrate both the anus and vagina at the same time. For women, a DP Harness is used to strap two dildos to it. For men, the harness secures below their cock so the dildo is below their testicles.
Strapless Strap-Ons These unique strap-ons are held in place by an insertable bulb into the vagina of the one wearing it. Added features such as vibration help both the giver and the receiver achieve orgasm and feel penetrated at the same time.
• Dildo Straps that strap onto boots or thighs
• Vibrating or Thrusting Strapons
For the wearer:
A strap-on harness is specifically meant to fit the wearer, so it can be a fairly personal purchase similar to buying underwear or a bra. It needs to have the right fit and feel comfortable enough to wear during strenuous and sweaty activities.
For the receiver:
The receiving partner needs to be comfortable with the size of the dildo. The wearer can have a variety of options for the receiver to choose from. Ultimately, it is up to the receiver about what goes in their anus or vagina, so have that conversation before playing, go slow and use lots of lube.
Dildos Most strapons are made from high-grade silicone. Some fit specifically with a certain harness. However, as long as the strapon harness fits, almost any kind of dildo can be used. Check out our Guide to Dildos to learn more about what kinds of materials dildos are made with.
Straps & Harnesses
Leather
• Sexy and a classic
• Durable
• Can stretch and soften after multiple uses for a custom fit
• Porous; harder to keep clean.
• Needs to be washed/cleaned after every exposure with bodily fluids
To Clean: Wipe clean with warm water and mild soap. Let air dry. Moisturize with saddle soap and mink oil.
PU (polyurethane) Leather & Leatherette
• Vegan, imitation leather
• Less porous than leather; easier to clean
To Clean:
• PU leather can be washed and dry-cleaned.
• Leatherette and PU leather can be wiped down with mild soap and water, then air dried.
Spandex
• Stretchy & comfortable
• Most boxer-briefs and panties are made from this material
• Moisture-wicking
To Clean:
• To keep the elasticity intact, hand wash with laundry detergent and warm water. Let air dry.
• Use baking soda to remove odor.
• Do Not iron, use hot water when cleaning, or use chemicals like fabric softeners or bleach.
Rings
Strap-on dildos need a base, and a strap-on ring, often called an O-ring, to keep it in place! These o-rings fit over the shaft and sit right above the base or balls. The straps attach to the rings to hold the dildo firmly in place over the pelvis. If the ring is too wide, the cock will slip out. So make sure the base of the dildo is wider than the ring!
When buying a harness that uses O-rings, buy different ring sizes that fit that harness, or better yet, find a dildo that matches the ring size on the strap-on.
Get adjustable straps.
Not all harnesses will fit the same way. Buy ones with adjustable straps or long straps that can reach all the way around thighs, hips and buttocks. It’s nice to have the option to snug things up once people start moving and get sweaty, not to mention we all may change shape over time. Get an adjustable harness so it always fits just right.
Strap width.
In general the wider the straps the more support for bigger/heavier dildos. Smaller dildos do fine with slimmer straps, but wider straps really help with big strap-ons.
Padding.
A lot of people think that as the person wearing the harness and thrusting that they’re giving the beating. However, it’s surprisingly easy to bruise the hips or pelvis during enthusiastic thrusting. Friction and chafing can be an issue wherever the straps sit on the hips or thighs, as well. Getting a padded harness will really help make this comfortable for the wearer.
Strap-On Rings.
Each strap-on dildo needs a base, and a strap-on ring (often called an O-ring) to keep it in place! They fit over the shaft and sit right above the base or balls. The straps attach to the rings to hold the dildo firmly in place over the pelvis. If the ring is too wide, the cock will slip out. That’s why it is necessary to make sure the base of the dildo is wider than the ring! So when buying a harness, buy different ring sizes that fit the harness, or better yet, find a dildo that matches the ring size on the strap-on harness.
In order to be successful at strap-on sex, each wearer needs a good harness. Choose what feels good to wear and then match the compatible strap-on dildo to the harness.
The Foray Beginners Strap-On Harness: Designed to help individuals try out strap-on sex with their partner for the first time. Comes with a 6” dildo and a nylon strap-on harness.
Strict Leather Corset Harness: This is a stylish yet functional model for women who want to look their best while giving their partner the pounding of a lifetime.
Bodice Corset Style Strap-On Harness Made from leatherette and metal, this sexy harness is both vegan-friendly and durable with a classic leather look.
Dominance Leather Strap-On Harness: With an open-crotch design, this strap-on harness is ready for you to use, at-will, on your partner. The harness has an included metal ring that supports any flared-base dildo.
Revolver Strapless Strap-On Dildo: This toy is designed to bring pleasure to both partners, with a defined head on the dong end and a G-spot curve on the bulb end that is inserted into the female wearing it.
Power Pegger: This double-sided dildo allows the wearer to feel the sensation of getting fucked while they penetrate their partner. Both sides are textured with realistic veins and ridges to enhance pleasure. A vibrating bullet is embedded in each cock, both powered by an easy-to-use controller.
The Ride Me Mouth Gag: While there's pleasure, already in having your partner's mouth stuffed with a gag, The Ride Me Gag takes things a step further by including a dildo in the front!
Infiltrator Hollow Strap-On Worn by a man, this comes with a 10” dildo to satisfy their partner’s desire for a large cock. Added benefit is that the wearer can go as long as their partner likes without the concern of getting soft!
Buyer’s Guide to Strap-Ons: The Dildo
A good quality silicone dildo is the best choice for strap-on sex. Each strap-on dildo has a flared base that is compatible with the O-ring on strap-on harnesses that helps keep the dildo in place.
3 Piece Silicone Strap-On Set This set of three dildos (small, medium, and large) are perfect for finding the right fit and exploring sizing up. Made of premium grade silicone and textured with ridges, it also adds sensations smoother dildos don’t in order to enhance sex.
Daddy An Li Leather Strap on Harness This dildo is large and firm and offers the wearer a powerful sense of Dominance in the bedroom. While not for beginners, it is a great next step for those who want to take their strap-on game to the next level.
All dildos need to be kept clean in order to be used with a partner. Just like with biological penises, toys do have a chance of transmitting STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections aka STDs) or bacteria from previous uses. For a complete guide on how to care for dildos, how to clean them, and what lubes to use with each type of toy, visit our Guide to Dildos. For specifics on how to clean the strap-on harnesses, see the section on Materials above.
For the first time pegging, go with a smaller dildo.
For those playing with a dildo inside their own ass or pussy, it can be a lot different than receiving one from another person. It’s very easy to take larger sizes when in control and relaxed, but it can be fairly intense and even painful to receive a thrusting cock from someone else. When in doubt, choose smaller and use a lot of lube! Check out the best lubes for each type of play!
How to play mind games with size.
To mess with the receiver’s head, show them the large dildo they think they can’t take, but slip in a smaller sized dildo when they aren’t looking. They’ll get more worked up with the anticipation and the idea of a huge cock in their ass and you get to have fun keeping them on edge! (Make sure to get their consent to play with their mind as well as their body, beforehand!)
Play with the equipment.
One of the best ways to make sure the harness fits well and won’t need to be adjusted mid-session… is to simply wear the strapon around the house! Get used to the feel and weight of it, as well as how much the straps/harness shift and need to be adjusted.
Practice thrusting motions.
If you aren’t used to the thrusting motions involved with your new favorite toy, try doing some hip openers. Basic yoga stretches will help you to limber up before you perform, increase your flexibility so you can get into a larger variety of poses, increase your endurance without discomfort by lubricating the hip joints, and help decrease any chance of injury. You can find lots of yoga videos that show you how to open up your hips online or go to a yoga studio and get in-person assistance.