Guide to Lubricants
Lubricants are one of the most underrated sex and intimate play accessories. People often call it oil, liquid, gel or jelly, but the most common name is lube. It’s true that we can produce our own lubricants with spit, seminal fluid or vaginal fluid. However, the amount of lubricant we can provide is limited and isn’t going to be as slippery, long-lasting, or sensational as the products available today.
For those interested in upping their sex-game or making masturbation more enjoyable, try one of our recommended lubes to find out what the best lube is for you. Before buying, however, make sure to read up on kinds of lube and how to use them. In this guide we will go over what lube is, different kinds of lube, who needs lube and how to best use it, and common misconceptions about lubricants.
Guide to Lubricants
Lubricants are one of the most underrated sex and intimate play accessories. People often call it oil, liquid, gel or jelly, but the most common name is lube. It’s true that we can produce our own lubricants with spit, seminal fluid or vaginal fluid. However, the amount of lubricant we can provide is limited and isn’t going to be as slippery, long-lasting, or sensational as the products available today.
For those interested in upping their sex-game or making masturbation more enjoyable, try one of our recommended lubes to find out what the best lube is for you. Before buying, however, make sure to read up on kinds of lube and how to use them. In this guide we will go over what lube is, different kinds of lube, who needs lube and how to best use it, and common misconceptions about lubricants.
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Lubricant, or lube, is a liquid, gel, or oil that reduces friction and makes sensitive areas that people want to play with—such as the anus, clitoris, penis, or vagina—wetter and slippery and thus more enjoyable. They are made out of silicone, oil or water. Some companies mix them, creating a hybrid, for even better results.
Having proper lubrication during solo or partnered play is not only sexy, it can make the experience more enjoyable and safer! Using lube helps to decrease friction or discomfort and may last longer than spit or bodily fluids. If someone is tired, stressed, or dehydrated, it’s not unusual to notice they may have less natural lubricant, and, when exploring anal, lube is an absolute must! With the addition of flavored lubes, desensitizing anal lubes, and full body massage gel, there are also lots of fun reasons to use it.
- Decreases friction making it easier to enter and thrust
- Great for long sessions
- Can help achieve better orgasms
- Can improve and enhance sex
- A must-have for anal sex!
- Some lubes taste good or have tingling sensations
- Reduces risks of STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Infection, aka STD’s)
There are three main types of lube:
- Water
- Silicone
- Oil
Each lube has its own characteristics (more below). Also, any of these can be mixed together by the manufacturer making a “hybrid,” which often has the benefits of both kinds of lubes without the downsides.
It’s important to remember that you should not use the same type of lube with the same type of toy. If it’s helpful, just remember “opposites attract” when choosing lube and toy combinations. For example, silicone lube should never be used with a silicone toy. However, a silicone-water hybrid is fine to use (an example of how hybrids can have the shared benefits of each kind of lube without the shared downsides). Using the wrong type of lube with a toy can damage the toy’s material and render the toy unsafe.
The most versatile lube, water-based lubes is your safest bet to start with. It can be used for all of your sexual needs: penetrative sex, masturbation, and sex toy play.
Why water based?
- Easy to clean: just use soap and water.
- Can be used with both latex and non-latex condoms.
- Doesn’t stain.
- Can be used with any type of toy.
Safety & Cleaning:
- Can not be used in a tub/shower/jacuzzi as the lube will dilute in the water.
- Can dehydrate quicker when it’s hot and will need to be reapplied more often.
- Doesn’t stain.
- Clean with soap and water.
Silicone lubes have a much thicker consistency, are more slippery, and last longer than a water-based lubricant.
Why silicone based?
- Safe to use with condoms.
- Hypoallergenic
- Use with glass, steel, plastic toys.
- Lasts a long time; less need to reapply.
- Great for masturbation
Safety & Cleaning:
- Can not be used with silicone-based toys.
- Difficult to clean up; requires a good amount of soap and water.
Although readily available around the house, oil-based lubes, such as coconut oil, olive oil, grapeseed oil, sunflower oil, sweet almond oil, baby oil or even petroleum jelly, can degrade and break latex condoms.
Why oil based?
- Very slippery
- Lasts much longer; less need to reapply
- Can be used for sensual massage
Safety & Cleaning:
- Can not be used with latex condoms; they will increase the chance of breakage.
- Associated with higher rates of infection
- Can not be used with latex diaphragms or latex toys
- Some non-latex condoms that are made with polyisoprene may be at higher risk of breaking.
- Difficult to clean off sheets and clothing. Use baking soda and scrub the oil stain out, let dry, and then wash.
The best lubes to use for anal, vaginal, oral, fisting, or massage vary from person to person. People generally don’t know what their favorite lube is until they try it. However, knowing what others have tried and love helps. Below is a list of what lube is best for every activity, so for those who still aren’t sure, try one of our recommendations.
Water Based: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant is paraben-free, petrochemical free, and glycerin-free, and is unscented.
Silicone-Hybrid: Passion Premium Silicone Hybrid Lubricant is a great choice; very little is needed to have safe, frictionless sex. It lasts a long time, doesn’t dry up and is easy to clean up with soap and water.
Water Based: Passion Anal Desensitizing Lube with Lidocaine is a water based lube with 2% lidocaine which slightly numbs the area where applied. This makes it ideal for anal penetration, and can really help those whose partners are well endowed or using larger, wider toys.
Silicone Based: 4oz Passion Premium Silicone Lubricant with Injector Kit will stay slick and slippery as long as needed. Great to use with a partner, safe to use with latex condoms, but don’t use with silicone toys!
Anal Lube Accessories: Lubricant Launcher 3 Pack makes insertion easy and mess-free. Use it with anal lube to make sure there’s no friction when thrusting into the rectum. Always use a condom when having anal sex to prevent STI’s.
The best lubes for masturbation are silicone, hybrids, or oil lubes.
Hybrid: This 8oz Hybrid Water-Silicone Lube is a hybrid lube that is safe to use on silicone toys while also providing silky, long-lasting lubrication that allows for hours of teasing and touching.
Oil Based: Boy Butter 9oz Squeeze Bottle is great for personal play, but make sure to not use it with any latex condoms as it will cause them to break.
Water Based: 8oz Licks Water Based Strawberry Flavored Lube makes cunnilingus and analingus sweet!
Oil Based Lube is popular for fisting, such as the Invade Deep Fisting Cream.
Sensual massage is a great way to build intimacy and closeness with your partner.
Nuru Massage Gel is specifically made for full body, nude, sensual massage. Works great with the Nuru Inflatable Vinyl Massage Sheet. Have fun and be prepared to get really messy!
Body Safe Choices:
Buy lubricants that are paraben-free, petrochemical free, and glycerin-free.
Why is this important?
- Parabens are used as preservatives. While this might be useful in certain foods, we don’t want the lube being preserved—and thus not breaking down—inside of our bodies. The long-term health effects of parabens in lube are still up for debate, but it’s speculated that it could have a negative effect on hormones and potentially cause breast cancer. Better to stay away from it.
- Petrochemicals are derived from crude oil, like petroleum, and they really don’t belong in our body.
- Glycerin is a humectant (it’s used to help retain moisture, since water on it’s own evaporates). Glycerin is a metabolic byproduct of sugar, and sugar can feed all the bacteria we don’t want propagating in our intimate areas and causing infections.
Make Sex Fun and Easy with Temperature Play
Warm lube is sexier than cold lube -unless the goal is to enjoy cooler sensation! Warm up the bottle of lube with a heating pad or small pot of water.
Can I use petroleum jelly?
Yes, and no. Technically it can be used on the skin (and is used for chapped skin to moisturize). However, it is an oil-based lube which means it can damage latex condoms. Additionally, it may not be safe to use inside the body as it is difficult to clean and the thick oily consistency can capture bacteria and increase risk of bacterial infection.
Do I need to use lube for shower sex?
Yes. The water washes away any natural lubricants you have, and so silicone or oil lube is best (water just mixes and dilutes). However, don’t drop the lube on the floor of the shower or the floor will get slippery!
Is it safe to use inside of the body?
Depends on the lube. Lubes have chemicals in them and it’s best to know which ones to avoid. Avoid anything that has phthalates, parabens, or glycerin. Also, the chemical nonoxynol-9 which is common in anti-spermicides has been known to increase risk of HIV when tissue and membranes are exposed to it.
Will this damage my toy?
No, not if you follow the recommendations listed above.
Will lube stain my clothing or fabric furniture?
Depends on the lube. Some lubes can stain clothing or fabric. Oil is the hardest to clean, silicone the second most challenging. If worried about stains, stick to water-based.
Can STI’s (aka STD’s) spread through lube?
If either partner has a sexually transmissible infection, always wear a condom. Using lubricants can actually help prevent the risk of some STI’s in that it reduces risk of tearing the membranes and lining of the vagina or anus. However, if using an anti-spermicidal lubricant without a condom, it will not only bore holes in the sperm, it will also begin to damage the lining of the vaginal walls over time, increasing risk to STI’s such as HIV.
Water-based lubes get sticky and don’t last long.
Yes, and no. Just like with any product, not all are created equal. Some water-based lubes do dehydrate quicker than others. In this case, adding a little spit or water can help rehydrate the lube. Check the ingredients in any lube before using it.
Silicone lube will ruin all my sex toys.
Not true, unless it’s a silicone toy. Silicone lube will only deteriorate silicone toys and some jelly toys. It is safe to use with all other toys and condoms.
Coconut oil works as a natural lube.
Yes, and no. Technically people can use it, but it might mess with the pH levels of the vagina and can trap bacteria, which can lead to infection.
Using lubricant means something is wrong with me.
Not true. Some people do use lube when they aren’t able to produce enough wetness on their own to make sex pleasurable. This can be due to hormonal changes such as menopause or hormone treatments, new medications, stress, exhaustion, dehydration, or any other number of physical or medical reasons that may throw off a person’s inner chemistry. However, most people use lubricants simply because it feels good, makes sex even sexier, and helps with inserting larger toys into the vagina or anus.
My partner/I should be wet enough without lube. If they’re turned on, they don’t need lube.
Not true. Many people have experienced being highly aroused and also may have a chemical imbalance that makes it difficult to produce enough wetness on their own. There is nothing wrong with using lube to make the experience more fun (and accepting) for everyone involved!
All lube is spermicidal.
Not true. Only lubes that specifically state they are anti-spermicide or that have the chemical nonoxynol-9 in them help prevent pregnancy. However, there have been controversial reports about the chemical nonoxynol-9 suggesting it may increase risk of contracting HIV and can cause inflammation.
Lube is only for anal sex.
Not true. As mentioned before, lube is great for vaginal, oral, or anal sex, as well as solo or partnered masturbation with hands or toys.